Facebook has a number of great qualities. You can keep in touch with old friends. It’s a convenient way to send out mass invites to parties. Even the updates are a good outlet for random thoughts that nobody but you cares about. But mostly, facebook is great becasue it’s going to do what no president, parent or public service announcement has been able to do for 30 years – stop obesity.
Call me a dreamer, but I believe in facebook. That’s because it has completely changed the way we interract with each other. And mostly for the better.
You see, prior to this miraculous invention, there was really no incentive for people to stay in shape (unless you were concerned about cancer, degenerative arthritis, diabetes, gastroesophageal reflux, heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels, infertility, respiratory difficulties, stress urinary incontinence or ulcers – but since none of that effects your appearance, who really cares? In fact, I’d go as far as to say several of those ailments could actually help you drop a few pounds – but I digress.) People could cruise along on a steady diet of Oreos and Fanta for the better part of a decade, and then bust their asses for a few months before their 10 year reunion to make sure they looked good for the backup tailback they lost their virginity to Sophomore year.
With facebook, people don’t have that luxury. Everyone you once knew is now getting a minute-by-minute update of exactly how your life is progressing; so the second that fupa start popping out, people are going to notice.
Perhaps even more powerful is the revenge factor. This applies to everyone who had no friends in high school and was forced to take their cousin to prom. Facebook offers the perfect opportunity to subtly say:
“Look at me now assholes. I bet you’d cut off your left nut for a chance to pin my knees behind my ears.”
It’s a very real phenomenon – I have at least a dozen facebook ‘friends’ that this applies to. (I suppose it’s possible they just decided to get healthy, but I’d say that’s about as likely as Ms. California lighting the torch at next year’s Gay Games.)
Of course, none of this matters since all the weight will probably be put back on as a result of people’s need to show how cool they are by drinking massive quanities of alcohol and then posting the pictures online – but I think it’s a good start.
Reader responses.
{ May 12, 2009 @ 4:33 am } · { Entertainment, News, Politics, Random, Responses, Sports, Technology, Thoughts }
{ Tags: comments, Facebook, hip-hop, music, real hip-hop } · { Comments (1) }
I’m well overdo for replies, so here it goes:
“There is no such thing as “real hip hop” in my opinion. What is real hip hop??? That’s like saying I only eat real pussy… it’s all the same thing, some might smell worse than others.” -Jeff
Wow, that’s probably the best analogy I’ve ever heard. I think I speak for everyone when I say we could use another guest post from you.
And while we’re here, everyone should go to this site to vote for Jeff’s son Brayden in a cutest baby contest.
“Music isn’t dead now….As a whole though, the music scene in itself does suck heavy hairy balls. You’ve gotta dig deep and into other places to find truly great music these days. Hip Hop though, will never be able to be saved. The vocoder killed it. T-pain…ugh.” – Alex
What’s interesting about this post is that almost everybody interpreted it differently. Alex thought I was saying music is dead, half the dumbasses from undergroundhiphop.com thought I was saying Aesop Rock sucks and the other half thought I was implying that Jay-Z is the definition of ‘real hip-hop.’
In reality, I was just pointing out that people who claim mainstream rap isn’t real are arrogant assholes. Nothing more, nothing less. And I could’ve picked any one of 100 artists to use in place of Aesop – I just chose him because I am most familiar with his music.
By the way Alex, have you reviewed the new Jada yet?
“Thankfully photo shop was invented as well.” – golublog
Very true. And even if you don’t use photoshop, all you need is that one lucky shot from just the right angle to hide your 6 other chins. Facebook can be very deceiving – it’s like the beer-goggles of the internet.
“(Facebook) has hit my age group like a ton of bricks: I would’ve NEVER been in contact with 99.99999999% of my “friends”. Granted, “contact” is a loose term.” – Nobu
I couldn’t agree more. At least once a day I see one of my ‘friends’ online and think “who the fuck is that?” But it does make it easier to find out if that girl in your InDesign class has a boyfriend.
Speaking of which, has anyone noticed how social networking has completely changed the dynamics of dating – and perhaps more importantly – breaking up? When I get some time I’m going to write a full post about this.
“The simple answer to that would be….When is the last time you’ve seen 80 thousand show up to see a guy paint a picture? Sports generate dollars, and the stars in those sports generate more dollars to the sports. Fair? Maybe not. At the end of the day like most things it’s all about a dollar.” – Payneinsider.com
If there was any post I could take a mulligan on, it would be this one. Not only was it poorly thought out and executed, but Living the Dream has to be the stupidest title ever – so thanks for the feedback Payne. We should do a podcast soon so you can straighten everyone out about everything sports related.
Damn that woman is hurting us more than the f’ing “don’t tase me bro” guy. – Julio
I shouldn’t even justify this. UF has won 4 National Championships in the last 4 years – so the least you can do is take a little heat for having a brain-dead Congresswoman.